||[Aug. 25th, 2006|10:31 pm]
|||||Bobby Valentino - Turn the page||]|
OMG!, i havn't updated for a long time, i wrote an entry a few days ago but wasn't comfortable with it, it was pointless crap that i was so done with that i had wrote and i felt the need to delete it and i did...but im sure it got read hmmm lol,...yeah so its been a year that ive lived in london and its been ok, i hated it at first but settled and started to love it...a bit too much actually! I just love the fact that there always seems to be something going on, However it can be distracting at times and my grades prove that, i mean i passed my course and managed to get in to uni but i know i could have done better, The last four months of college was a joke to me, i hardly went in and i did no course work, things were gettin so bad that my tutor gave me a warning and told me that there was no point of me being on the course! She obviously thought that i was gonna be a dropout but noooooo the bitch got it wrong! i just love proving people wrong lol. It's was only in the last month of college that i really decieded to make an effort and catch up with course work, i finished like three assingnments in a week, i didn't know that i was capable of not sleeping for a week lol, it was hard and i really was at breaking point because i thought that everything i was doing was gonna be in vain, And i wasn't prepared to look my mum in the eye and tell her that i had failed so i gave mysef a kick up the ass and i passed...that rhymes! lol.
I'll be movin back to birmingham next week to go uni i'll be living on campus so its all good! i'll have more independence im looking forward to it, Hardly any of my family up there know that im moving back apart from a few of my cousins and one of my aunts, but i like it that way, before i allowed myself to get too wrapped up in my family up there i was vulnerable and and some of them took the piss, I can't allow myself to make the same mistake twice, im more wise and aware, there is only one aunt up there that has good intentions and she will always have my intrest at heart and some of my cousins too, As for the rest, FUCK THEM!! i couldn't give two shits about them or what they think, I know it sounds bitter but its how i feel. Im really looking to turn over a new page i havn't had my priorities straight since i moved to london but i'ma change that, i wanna take more resposibility for myself i want a part time job even though i don't need one but i wanna show my mother that i can be a lil more responsible i rely on her too much, i wanna sort out my driving ive been putting it on hold for way to long it's not about public transport anymore i hate it! and my mum has offered to buy me car so i have no exscuses. most of all i wanna keep focused and put a hundred percent in to uni, i can't keep on playin devil's advocate with my future i need to get serious and nows the time, i now know what direction i wanna go in with my photography so the future seems alot more clearer to me. Being here (Holland) has been good for me ive had alot of time to reflect and think about things.
anyways enough about me...
On another note what is it about cyber sex? there are alot of chix that be messagin me on faceparty askin me for cyber sex lol i find it hilarious, it does nothin for me its shit and i prefer the real thing S.E.X or makin love, its not only better but its REAL!! are people becoming so lazy that they can't be bothered to get off thier asses and get some? lol...there's no hope online lol. if its not the cyber hoes that i get messagin me its the fat butch short haired chix that i get messagin me, its like 'hello do i look like i could ever be your bitch?' im bi-sexual so if i want a man i'll go out and find one, why should i cut myself short by going with a woman that acts, sounds and looks like a man? it doesn't make sense to me! i probaly sound shallow but im only bein truthful i don't mean to sound bad, i don't mind tomboys though because i find them cute but butch doesn't tiggle my fancy its not my flavour. The funny thing is i reply to most of them like an idiot because i feel bad for ignorin them lol,. Everybody is on a hype about msn even my mum is on it and my gran from america lol, ages ago like years ago i had msn but too many freaks had my add and i hardly went on it so i just lefted it and stuck to my yahoo, Now im back on it because yahoo is shit and most of my cousins, friends and family are on there, ive had my account for like two weeks it's fresh and already ive blocked like two people, its all good though i know where they got my add from, so the problem has been resolved!
ok its time to put an end to this entry it's three'o clock in the morning here sleep is needed so GOOD NIGHT im out pretty peeps PEACE!
by the way Li if you read this, sorry that i havn't got back to your text, I always blank you when im here but its not on purpose though lol, i'll speak to you on monday, Luv ya long time!! We're like Batman & Robin, Salt & Pepper, Ying & Yang, Richard & Judy...nah maybe not them two lol...W3nch13 can't remember when your birthday is so im wishing you a BIG HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY from now...i'll try and make it out next sat... D...you are just too cute for your own good! hmm random! lol xxxxx